Animal And Human Sex Facts

I'm moving to Australia.......
by deleted 1 year ago (Feb 26, 2014) in Funny
95 comments | 95 new comments added since your last visit to this upload ( marked in pink ). You must be logged in for this feature to work | Collapse all
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 19 points
    I wish my wife was a ferret.....
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 7 points
      My wife smells like a ferret. And builds shit forts in her cage to boot
    • WankNinja | 1 year ago | 1 point
      Buy wishing your wife was a ferret are you wishing for more sex? Or the death of the frigid female?
      • deleted | 1 year ago | 3 points
        Make up your own mind. I'm not here for expainin', I'm here for enertainin'.
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 11 points
    Hahahaha how many dudes are ready to cry now that #11 has shown a puss is longer than your cock.
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 8 points
      Ready? I cry nonstop.......
      • deleted | 1 year ago | 4 points
        But its different cause its only cause we don't live in Australia. Give yourself some credit.
        • deleted | 1 year ago | 2 points
          Guess that makes me the warm up guy.
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 4 points
      No need to expand on my account.
  • ecorock | 1 year ago | 6 points
    The other 88% use them during sex.
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 3 points
      As paypal terminals...
      • ecorock | 1 year ago | 2 points
        Bless their hearts.
        • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
          Always get a receipt.
          • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
            Deductible as a medical expense
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 3 points
      Checking h6!
  • sheiklloyd | 1 year ago | 6 points
    #4 Why were six men trying to overpower an aroused female chimp?
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 5 points
    The biggest insult is that a woman will turn to a candle rather than a guy. I mean it's not like we aren't easy to find or anything....
    • MariaUK | 1 year ago | 10 points
      Its just that most of you don't light our flame :)
      • deleted | 1 year ago | 10 points
        We would love to but you don't keep your mouths closed long enough to build up good fart pressure....
        • bobster | 1 year ago | 2 points
          Armageddon!
      • dronster | 1 year ago | 2 points
        Yeah, they only think about themselves and don't even know how to work a woman to a frenzy. Gentlemen, its nothing like porn.
        • deleted | 1 year ago | 0 points
          Yeah, they only think about themselves and don't even know how to work a woman to a frenzy. Gentlemen, its nothing like porn.

          You mean I don't have to keep on pulling out and jacking it all over her face? There is another way? Please, let me know what it is!
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 10 points
      Dorm rule number one at the girls boarding school.....Lights out at ten, candles out by eleven.
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 3 points
      yah, but a candle won't fart and fall asleep mid-way through.......
    • jrlevins | 1 year ago | 2 points
      I guess they prefer "whispering meadow" scent over dick cheese
      • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
        I believe the big seller is "Summer's Eve"
    • deleted | 1 year ago | -1 point
      If men masturbated with candles we would light them.
      Either because we are stupid with taking chances with risky things or to be ready for a fart.
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 5 points
    Imagine a retarded female chimpanzee in a fit of passion, that's like the strength of 9 1/2 men.
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 4 points
    #3 The last time I had sex, cell phones hadn't been invented.
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 4 points
    I have to have sex 6 times to burn off 200 calories.
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 4 points
    Soooooooo, 27% of the women will not admit they had a one night stand?
  • benjathaninja1 | 1 year ago | 3 points
    What is the definition of penile rupture?
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
      ....I'll pm you some pic.....O.o......
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
      Oh!!! I read rapture....
      • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
        Alien ships with skeletal penis' along the outsides everywhere
    • MariaUK | 1 year ago | 1 point
      "Sorry darling did I squeeze to tight"
  • NamekCruiser | 1 year ago | 3 points
    #7 22% chance? Thats about 22% more than the chance I have outside of Australia!
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 3 points
    #12 is NOT true...
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 3 points
      With a name like olympicFapper you would know.
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 3 points
    The average female orgam? Who stole the fucking "S"?
    • rabbit13 | 1 year ago | 4 points
      Possibly the same person who thinks the proper words are per cent rather than percent.
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 3 points
    No wonder my wife has so many damn candles....or that her twat smells like sandlewood
  • SlapnutsMcgee | 1 year ago | 2 points
    The furret and I have something in common
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
      Level 15?
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 0 points
      I'm 46... ;)
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 0 points
      Then move to Oz!
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 2 points
    I've had sex with someone out of sympathy.....I cry myself to sleep at night.
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 4 points
      I have sympathy sex with myself all the time.
      • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
        Do you ever call yourself in the morning?
        • deleted | 1 year ago | 3 points
          Come on that's guy code never call back.
          • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
            You're not helping yourself.
            • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
              Then why do I call it a helping hand?
              • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
                The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.
                • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
                  Aww you poor thing, I need both my hands on this monster.
                  • deleted | 1 year ago | 2 points
                    Tell her to stop being so rough....

                    https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images/…
                    • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
                      Your sister is beautiful, I know she likes black guys, because that's the only thing that likes her.
                      • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
                        Way to big up your people by calling them, "things"
                        • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
                          Look into the eyes of my avatar wart, that's how much I'm loving this conversation.
                          • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
                            You're no fun.
                            • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
                              You're the first man to Eva say that.
  • MariaUK | 1 year ago | 2 points
    100 a day is that all ???
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 2 points
      those must be some big diameter Ben Wa balls your packing!
      • deleted | 1 year ago | 3 points
        They rusted together because they've been in there since 1952.
        • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
          I remember the sales jingle. "Man alive 2 for 5", they sold like hot cakes!
      • deleted | 1 year ago | 2 points
        Dude she can juggle them while they are inserted.
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 2 points
    100% of me has wanted to die after a one night stand in an average vagina out of sympathy...
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 2 points
    99% of all girls who 3-way with us have multiple orgasm 😈
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 1 point
      And, 100% of the boys!
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 2 points
    74% of all orgasm's I had have been with myself?

    Documented, maybe part of the problem.
  • WeVe | 1 year ago | 2 points
    15 % WOOHOO!
  • bobster | 1 year ago | 2 points
    I actually aam moving to Australia in two weeks. Better work on my poor African child look
    • deleted | 1 year ago | 2 points
      youi're not too far off........
  • deleted | 1 year ago | 2 points
    I have sympathy for a twat that smells like candles. Especially the Ocean Breeze tuna free scented.

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